Maintaining Individuality In A Relationship(1)

Individuality in a relationship means there is me,there is you and then there is still room for us,so maintaining individuality in a relationship is;how can i be a part of 'us' without losing myself.

There are two groups of people in relationships;

the first group gets into a relationship with expectations that this union for some reasons best known to them will wash away their insecurities and unresolved past lives and the second group are those with the illusion that this relationship will build,grow them and whatever illusion they have.

I'm not disputing the notion.Relationships should help you grow,if it is not helping you grow then you are just in a ship but when you go into a relationship with this mindset there will be an imbalance because one person is depending on the other person for growth or both individuals are expecting this bond to help them grow which will not happen.

So within this fantasy or illusion of growth both individuals begin to lose themselves.That's why the best time to grow is while you are still single.When you get into a relationship you have just one job;to merge whatever you have learnt from your personal growth with your partner,grow from there to the betterment of the relationship.

One of my biggest fear is losing my dreams,drive,friends and beliefs for a man.Changing my life for love.When you get into a relationship there is always a tendency for you to lose yourself,it's easy to do just about anything to keep that relationship but then this is where the beautiful hands of  boundaries creep in.

SET BOUNDARIES

The mistake we often make is setting boundaries when the relationship is almost collapsing or when we are in it already.Boundaries are not walls,they should be set straight from the gate.

Honey,I'm not coming inside;i understand relationships need a lot of compromise so this is what i can compromise.Are you okay with it? Yes,i really love you but when this journey starts sometimes i just need my space.

There are alot of self entitled men and women all around so if you think simply because we are in a relationship you are entitled to shouting at me,commanding me,using my past life against me or whatever self entitlement you have stored up in your sleeves then I'm so sorry you just knocked the wrong door because i can't tolerate that.

Emotions are great but logic is greater so you need to let him or her know;this is what i cannot let go for the sake of love but then this is what i will effortlessly let go still for the sake of love just that this time it is self love.

There is need for boundaries so no one consumes the other person.

In summary,don't get so caught up in the role of being a couple that you lose your individual unique characteristics.

With love,

Dimensionsofgold.