IS KISSING BEFORE MARRIAGE A SIN?

I remember having a conversation with a love interest and in the course of that conversation he mentioned he wouldn't be kissing his partner until they got married.

And I responded with a "lol".

We had agreed on sex not being an option but kissing? I didn't see anything wrong with that.

I had heard of couples whose first kiss was on the altar and I knew that wasn't going to be my story so when he said kissing was a no I knew this will only be a "could have/would have been relationship."

I remember when Pastor Nathaniel Bassey tweeted "everyone is a Christian until it's their wedding day" and I just wondered if he wanted me to dance to "Is your name in the book of life."

I'm not ready to get married now. I might be in 4/5 years but I can only plan, ultimately God's will be done.

Click here to watch my non-negotiables in a man 

My not being ready doesn't stop men from approaching me with their intent so I try to lay some foundation on what this "could have/would have been" a relationship will thrive on.

I ask a question and then I tell you my stance. The question is usually the church you attend because man's not ready to be arguing with you about Jesus and your church doctrine. If it's not in the bible it's wrong dear no question asked.

Then I proceed to inform you of my self-righteous celibacy.

Their response is always a question in the lines of:

"How long have you been celibate?"

"Does being celibate stop you from doing other things?"

"How far is too far for you?"

There was a time I was comfortable with every other thing apart from sex. I didn't think every other thing I did was okay, I just believed sex was a greater sin and that was a no.

But God isn't calling us to a life of celibacy, He is calling us to a life of purity.

Celibacy starts and ends with not having sex, Purity on the other hand is a way of life.

The Bible says "For without holiness no man can see the Lord" so purity starts with the way you dress, the words you utter, the movies you watch, the songs you listen to, the conversations you engage in. It starts with your heart and progresses from there because it's not a destination. You might dress modestly, listen to Godly songs, watch Godly movies, not have sex but your heart is far from being pure.

The goal is to be a little like Jesus every day. The goal isn't to be a signpost because if you are not having sex but doing every other thing you are just a signpost.

Celibacy is about fulfilling a law, it is self-righteousness, It's you trying to make something that is sinless of a sin.

Over time, I stopped saying I was celibate because the goal isn't to not have sex. Sex was created by God, sex is beautiful, sex is for our pleasure.

The goal is to please God. The goal is to hate sin.

You go from asking if kissing before marriage is a sin to "How does this make God feel? How does kissing someone I'm not married to draw me closer to God".

 Why is my body something to negotiate on with a supposed Christian or anybody?

When did my body stop being the temple of the Most High or did my mouth stop being a part of my body?

I'm going to make this a series and talk about the movies we watch, the songs we listen to, pornography, etc because the Bible doesn't say you should cast and bind lust. It says to flee. Joseph did not speak in tongues, he ran away. 

The songs we listen to do not in any way edify us so when these immoral thoughts come to our mind, listening to a sermon at that moment isn't it. It's you deciding not to listen to those songs again or watch those movies.

I woke up one morning and deleted my supposed wedding playlist because when I listen to those songs I imagine a man I haven't met yet and I'm a writer, my fantasies are wild so what happens is I see these things in my dream. I'm having sex in my dreams and I'm wondering why.

Of course, there is a place of spiritual husband but a spirit cannot enter you if there's no space for him. You need to be a vessel that is ready to accommodate these spirits.

When you watch movies that begins and ends with sex or listen to songs that are explicit or feed your mind on unnecessary Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram post, you are just creating an environment for those spirits.

Before you cast and bind, delete the things that make those spirits comfortable and create space for the Holy Spirit.

Self-control is the fruit of the spirit, speaking in tongues is a gift but don't you think you need the fruits to be able to take care of the gifts.