May We All (To Friends and Friendships)

The death of friendships hurts more than a romantic relationship. Maybe because there are not enough books to fall back on when friendships die or the books and articles available lean more towards moving on as soon as possible. 

Maybe, just maybe, I keep seeing myself in a committed relationship as a futuristic event.

As a child, it's easy to make friends but in my primary school days, I wasn't interested in that. I would justify this by typing I was busy trying to be the best in class but honestly, that just came naturally.

If I had best friends, they were probably teachers.

Fast forward to secondary school and attending 3 different schools, I finally had someone I would call a best friend in SS3.

All through the years, I came to really understand why King Solomon said for there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Yesterday, I was on a call with my friend and it occurred to me this was one of my effortless friendships.

I didn't do anything to become his friend, didn't do anything to make him stay.

Basically didn't try at all but somehow I want him at my wedding and I don't even want a wedding.

All my life, I have never felt like I'm deserving of good things. I would lie that I'm slowly getting there but just yesterday I cried because I felt I had been abandoned by God.  I would say I have taken a step but that's all I seem to be able to do and that's not progress. So, when good things happen to me I question them. This is weird because with friendships, I mostly take the first step and throughout the course of the friendship, I feel the need to continue doing something as a lack of that would cause the friendship to end. It's exhausting.

Some people take pride in saying they don't have friends like it's supposed to be something to be proud of but even God in all his sovereignty had a friend - Abraham.

I say it too occasionally, but I don't pride myself in it. I say it from a need to have my person.

After my call yesterday. I realized I'm not exactly looking for my person. I'm looking for friends that'd turn to family.

So to my effortless friend:

Thank you for not making me think about you as a chore,

Thank you for not letting me cry over you,

Thank you for not letting me think I'm not deserving of you,

Thank you for being a solid one,

May we go on trips together,

May our children be friends,

May our spouses be friends and this family of ours increase,

When we have important events, may we not be found wanting,

When we don't have important events, may we not be found wanting,

May celebrations not cease from our lives,

And even when we hit a bump, may we find comfort in ourselves,

May the world look at us and long to find genuine friends,

May we find it easy to be friends with our friends,

May we actually enjoy this life,

May we find the friends we are looking for,

May our families become families

May we be better people at asking for help when we need it,

May we be caring and trusting, giving willingly without expectation for reciprocity,

May we be kind to the people who need it, and that's everyone,

May we spend our time around people who love us and help us grow,

May our next journey be our best one yet, our next conversation our best one yet,

May we learn to enjoy the little things, cherish the little moments and spend time on the things that matter.

May we keep being wondrous, hopeful, and playful, unafraid to exercise our creativity or paint with our fingers outside the lines, living life to the best of what we can muster,

Thank you Tibz for being my oldest friend.