The annoying part;he keeps chanting he is trying alot in the relationship and as the memory verse goes''women benefit more''instead of working on himself.
Let me play this out
because you love him,so he manages to convince you that the reason for his non chalant attitude in this relationship is due to his poor communicating skills that he has no power over because
(A)he was born that way
(B)his father or mother doesn't communicate well so it is inherited
Now,you love him and he tries to convince you while doing the bare minimum so he manipulates you into making excuses for him.
Don't you get it!when he manipulates you,you make excuses for him,justify those excuses with the satisfaction you have gotten from him doing absolutely what a normal human being who is in a relationship should be doing.Then you open doors of praises,you learn to praise him for treating you bad until it becomes a habit you cannot break off.
I don't even understand,when you tell a girl you do not know how to communicate well;what do you want her to do.She is confused,stressed, worried,she doesn't know what her boundaries are because "good morning" suddenly becomes an over step of boundary.You act like you are not interested and when she tries to withdraw..you suddenly become interested.
So one day you realize he doesn't love you the way you deserve to be loved.
You tell him to go try somewhere else because you know exactly what you want in a relationship and he can either be who you want him to be or nothing and then he chants his second verse " i am trying in this relationship but yet you do not appreciate my efforts,all you know how to do is nag and complain''
i do not necessarily have to message you always maybe once in 2 days '"but I'm trying"
Hell will break loose if i call and your number is busy but if mine is busy obviously i'm with my guys because "i'm trying"
i act like i don't care but you know i do, deep down that you clearly do not see "but I'm trying"
i offer you less that what you are worth and i know this "but I'm trying"
i communicate better with my female friends but i can barely have a good conversation with you without throwing in the blame game but you know ''i'm trying"
I don't trust you with other guys but you have to trust me with other girls because you know"i'm trying"
I'm not matured to let you know this is where you went wrong so i will rather just go find comfort outside but "I'm trying"
Your opinion doesn't matter because i am guy and i make the final decisions but"i'm trying"
i don't even know when you are out of balance or emotionally unstable because i don't really care about you but"I'm trying"
I do not love my self enough to give you the kind of love you deserve but i will rather let you feed my insecurities than admit and let you go because "I'm trying"
I will rather just have sex with you than talk about the little things that matter or get to know you better because my pleasure is more important but "I'm trying"
I do not ever notice when we are slacking in this relationship because my attention is somewhere else
and even though i applied for this job, i am not ready to commit but "I'm trying"
I make decisions to favour myself even though we are in a relationship because i don't want to believe that once you are in a relationship you are not supposed to think or make decisions to favour your individual self but to the betterment of the relationship because now,its no longer about "you but us" but "I'm trying and all you know how to do is nag and complain"
Then you start to make sense out of his excuses,the excuses meant to manipulate you as usual into letting him stay because if you were really to follow your intuition and not be clouded by the intuition he has made you believe,you will cut him loose in a blink.
On some days he claims to be an adult
so tell him baby,adults do not try
they just do what is right
because really,that's what adults should do
what is right.
Love
@dimensionsofgold
:-) Nicely written Emmy, really gives me food for thought :-)...
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